Interpersonal Conflict

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Interpersonal communication skills have always been a key factor in resolving solutions whenever there is disagreement to range of problems. During my stay in Japan, I met with an interpersonal conflict which till this day I find it hard to resolve. My situation happened during the trip where there were disagreements with plans to visit certain sightseeing areas.

We had the trip planned and refined three months before the trip. There were 3 of us in the group in which we decided to split up the research and workload. However, Adrian did not have prior knowledge and have not visited the country before. Hence, I offered to help plan the itinerary, which was his original job. Pleased with the plan and decisions, we stuck to the proposed idea.

Things went south when there was an argument regarding the change in plans. Initially, we decided to visit the most popular places first, followed by paths less travelled. However, Adrian decided to sleep in, disregarding our efforts to wake him up and explain the situation to him.

One example would be the visit to the most popular shrine in the city. Initially we needed to arrive at Fushimi Inari shrine at 9am to avoid the crowd. However, we arrived at the place at 1pm due to the laid-back attitude of Adrian. Soon after, we got into a huge argument and the places that we wanted to visit were foiled. Despite agreeing to the plans, he was not involved in helping to navigate the area. He also complained when we took different routes between each area due to last minute changes in plans.

How could I have reacted in these situations to encourage my friend to participate more effectively as a group? Any advice would be helpful.

Comments

  1. Brad Blackstone19 February 2018 at 00:26

    Thanks for sharing this interesting scenario, Glen. I look forward to reading your peers' proposed solutions.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jean24 February 2018 at 20:26

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown25 February 2018 at 08:00

    Hey Glen
    Thanks for sharing your situation with me. I felt that your friend is incorporating with you guys. If I will in your position. I will have a huge argument with him and making sure he feel guilty during the entire trip.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown25 February 2018 at 19:39

    HI Glen

    In my opinion it seems like your friend, Adrian, has not been very corporative throughout the entire trip. If i were in your position, making him come into agreement from the start of the plan should be important. Doing it during the trip maybe harder as he has his own thinking on how he wanted to enjoy the trip.

    Colin

    ReplyDelete
  5. Unknown25 February 2018 at 20:16

    Dear Glen,

    In this scenario, I think what you did or rather how you handled this situation was right. It is good to tell Adrian off as what he did actually affected the whole group dynamics and caused the itinerary to be delayed.

    In order to resolve this conflict, I would have reacted the same way. However it is just the start of the trip, try not to make it so harsh. Make a joke out of it, hope he gets it. In addition, since Adrian didn't play a part in planning, and wants to go somewhere off the map. I suggest that he may want to travel on his on for that reason. In that way, both your friend and you can carry on as planned.

    Hope my advice will help you out.

    Cheers,
    Roland Lau

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unknown25 February 2018 at 22:18

    Dear Glen,

    I can understand how you felt during that situation. I suggest that you and your friend that planned out the itinerary to continue with your trip and just leave Adrian to do what he wants as he is uninterested in the things that you and your friend had planned.
    I believe that Adrian's own personal interests should not stop you and your friend from enjoying the trip.

    Cheers,
    Gordon

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown28 February 2018 at 22:55

    Hey guys Glen here,
    I would like to thank everyone for reading my interpersonal conflict and spending time on giving suggestions to prevent another situation from happening again.

    After reading everyone's suggestions, i think it would be best to engage him into more planning even though he may not be well versed with the country. This would encourage him to have a sense of responsibility into planning the trip. Travelling does take time and effort to plan and understanding the plans more would encourage him to follow it faithfully.

    During the trip, it would be best to leave some time to explore the area ourselves if there is a split in decisions and plans. This would reduce conflicts in difference in decisions.

    Understanding each other preferences and characreristics is ideal to effectively plan the perfect trip.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brad Blackstone12 March 2018 at 00:14

      Thank you, Glen, for making a final comment in light of your peers' feedback. You've presented a good alternative for resolving this issue.

      I still wonder, however, which of the Thomas-Kilmann modes this approach would reflect. What do you think?

      Delete
  8. Jean4 March 2018 at 01:53

    Hi Glen

    Thank you for sharing this interpersonal conflict of yours. After reading your interpersonal conflict with a friend, it seems like your friend is a little too laid back.
    I guess if I was in your position, I would confront him about his personality and make him realize that he needs to put in more effort to be punctual. Maybe I would also make myself clear by being strict with him so that we can do the things we initially planned to do. I feel that by using the right tone of voice and body language, would show him that his lateness does affect everyone else in the group.

    However, if he still does not see an issue with his actions then you should just let him be and go on with your activities.

    I hope that my advice is useful

    Cheers
    Jean

    ReplyDelete

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